Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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