he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
