great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
40s are totally the cure
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
