theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
