God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
