Your dad touched me again.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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