If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
People in love make me want to vomit
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize