Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
