I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
