i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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