would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You made out with two different species that night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
