I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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