we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
