That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
