Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
