belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just blew my weed a kiss
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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