would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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