Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
