Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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