Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
