Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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