felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
