Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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