i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
