Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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