Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
