I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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