hotel room ftw
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
