How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
