There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So vagazzling was a success
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
