You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
