PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
