I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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