every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
