i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
