think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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