I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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