you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
