Whod you bang
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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