he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think i peed on brittanys purse
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
