It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize