the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
