Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
