So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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