I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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