At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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