Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Two words: blizzard sex
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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