just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
