If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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