Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
