Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
