$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
