We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
