absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm jealous of your bromance
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
