Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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