Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
