Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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