Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sorry about my life...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I touched a dick in church today
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
