that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
