Umm I'm too high to move.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
