I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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