hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
