are you so shy because you have an std?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
