Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
