Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
