the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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